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Back to bed :D #happy #Probablywon’tsleep #jinxeditnow #fucksakeIruineverything

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Knockanstockan was mental, met some great people, but I’m ridiculously satisfied to know I’ll be in my bedroom enough

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Today the site manager and the CGM made up and became friends again, so my job offering is back, and I’m taking it.

Even better, I’m reporting the executive for what he did to me, seeing as I’m leaving, it won’t effect my job and I would never want it to happen to anyone else, so I’m going to make sure it can’t, to the best of my ability.

So the CGM had me send him a text with formal consent for him to call to the head of office with my complaint. He did, then got me to ring the head of office, and now I have a meeting with him in the morning. I have to give a statement about what happened and basically just tell him everything. She’s a counsellor, and he’s really nice, so I’ve no worries.

The executive is suspended with pay until they come to a decision after the investigation of these allegations.

I’m doing this on my terms, and I have two conditions. 1. I don’t want to see, hear or talk to him ever again. 2. I don’t want to go legal, I don’t think so anyway.

I’ll update tomorrow after the meeting.

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How many times must g pass an airport without going on holidays? #itsahardknocklife #workday #depressed #takemeonatripidliketogosomeday (at Terminal 2 - Dublin Airport)

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Date night! #sisters #takemeout #thiswasunexpected #I’mthebestsisterever #blesshercottonsocks #firstdate @hollygormanxo (at Temple Bar, Dublin)

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So basically the CGM didn’t really get back to me, he never saw my message on Facebook.

Yesterday I got the day off work because it was just supposed to be Me and the site manager working, but nobody could contact him in the morning. Due to his actions on Saturday night/ Sunday morning, I started freaking out thinking he might have done something stupid. I rang him, I text him, I messaged him on fb and I text his wife. H was sent home and when I was on the bus he rang me and it turned out if had just slept through his alarm. Thank God. He rang me back later telling me he had just gotten off the phone with the CGM (who wasn’t talking to him up until this point) and that the CGM was now going to ring Me to discuss what I wanted. A few hours later he rings Me And I tell him not to do anything, his reply is ‘what if I already told the head of office?’ He then asked me would i deny the allegations if they were brought up to me, i said i didn’t know, and if said i would, told me to take care and stay safe, and then he hung up. We still aren’t sure if he actually sent the email or not. Meanwhile the CGM’s wife was on the phone to the site manager telling him that they need to get me into a rape crisis centre and get me help.

And that’s the up to date version of what’s going on, I’m just waiting to see if the head of office organises a meeting with me, and then there’ll be another update :/

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So the newest instalment in my drama filled life is to do with my job. As seen from the previous post, a lot of shit has gone on since I started, and it just got worse. There are five levels in the hierarchy of fundraising. Me, the fundraiser, the site manager, the executive, the committed giving manager, and the head of office. So basically a few days ago the committed giving manager (CGM) left the red cross, because he wants to set up his own company of fundraisers that can be hired out to other charities. My site manager rang me to tell me if was leaving the red cross, because the CGM wanted him to join him, the site manager also wanted to take me with him. So I agreed to that, the pay would be better, the hours would also. So no more was said, i just knew in a few weeks I’d have a new job.

Last night I went out with the site manager, the CGM and his wife. We had a great night, until the end. Back in the CGM’s house, I take a valium I fell asleep while the other 3 continued to chat. Next thing I’m woken up and all 3 are staring at me, the site manager tells me to tell the CGM and his wife what happened with the executive that night at the festival. I went quiet and just stared at the floor, meanwhile the CGM goes mental at the site manager for putting me on the spot and for not reporting it. He blames him for a lot of what happened and I start defending him, because only the executive and myself are to blame. After a while the fight ceases and the site manager is acting a little weird, normally if would fight back. We all go to sleep and I wake up about 3 hours later, go downstairs and find the site manager spread out asleep on the rug, I wake him up to try get him into a bed or onto a couch, he hops on the couch, not even aware of where he is. I go back to bed and wake up to the CGM at the door of my room telling me he’s going out to get food. Next thing there’s a lot of shouting from him downstairs and then the noise of an engine as he leaves. I go downstairs and get my stuff and go back up to my room to get changed. My site manager comes in and tells me the reason for the commotion was because he had taken all of the CGM’s Valium and xanax. When I asked why he said he was trying to overdose. I stared at him for a while, speechless, and then turned towards him and hugged him, nearly in tears. I’ve been like this all day now, he did it out of guilt because of what happened to me. Now my situation isn’t only affecting Me anymore. He got kicked out of the house when the CGM came back. I went with him because he doesn’t know the area and I wouldn’t leave him by himself. But before we left the CGM told me that he would send an email to the head of office tomorrow informing him of the event at the festival with the executive. He also offered to help me Go legal but I don’t want any reports at all. I sent him a message on fb earlier telling him that but there’s no reply yet. I don’t know what to do, should I stay in the red cross and if I do should I report it or not, possibly get sacked or stay quiet? Do I go with the CGM to his business, turning my back on my site manager who is now a good friend of mine? It’s all up in the air and I wish everything would calm down

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Time to hit the town #lovinlife #pubcrawl #session #spirits!

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I haven’t been on this I’m bids and I do apologise, but once I get through what I need to sky i think you’ll understand…

So to finish up that Chris (the ex) story, he wanted to meet up to post things out, he kept messaging me with compliments and then finally, like his normal dramatic self, he sent me this message on the day that we would have celebrated our 1 year anniversary:

'Hey, I know it's been clear for ages from you but it's pretty evident that we're never going to meet up to try sort things out, I'm sorry things got so bad between us , I honestly wish they hadn't, there's nothing more I feel I can do and from the way things appear I don't think you want them to anyways. Thanks for everything from when times were better, goodbye Julieanna!'

Make what you will of that, I also got a snapchat yesterday of him in a suit talking about debs (prom) season. I just want the asshole to fuck off, cause I have bigger problems. I’ll try to get through this quick cause I need to sleep.

I got a new job as a fundraiser for the red cross and I love it, i travel around the country and try to get people to sign up for direct debits in shopping centres and at various events, about two weeks in I went to a festival for work with two of my bosses. I’m at the bottom of the food chain, then there’s the site manager who fundraises like I do, but is in charge, and then his boss, the executive who does mostly office work and the odd bit of fundraising. At the festival our gazebo blew over and broke, so we just got drunk, which we were planning to do anyway, I took half an ecstasy pill (having never taken anything in my life, yeah I’m an idiot) and the executive started kissing Me, i kept pushing him away and stuff but I was pretty out of it, he asked me to walk back to the tent with him to get another can and as naive as I am i went with him, we sat down and he started trying to kiss me again and we had an argument about how there were plenty of girls who would sleep with him willingly but if wanted me, he got fairly pissed off and I blacked out about then, I only have a few memories and even those i don’t want to think about. Apparently during the night the site manager came in to try get me out but I said no, and I doubt he was going to try overrule his boss either. The next morning woke up cold and naked and the exact same thing happened again, and unfortunately I remember all of that part. I just remember the same thought going through my mind ’ please find me repulsive and just stop’ eventually, the 34 year old dichead stopped. On the way home my site manager snapped at him calling him a piece of shit. But it wasn’t until the following week that he found out the full story, that I had said no, had tried to fight him off, he offered to take it up with the board at work but I refused, I need this job.

I still have to work with him, talk to him, pretend everything is okay, meanwhile i was left to arrange the morning after pill myself and I’m waiting for the results of an sti/std screening.

I have a few things to say here:
1. Don’t put yourself in dangerous situations, don’t be the idiot I was
2. Report any piece of shit you find, that’ll go against your consent
3. If ever something like this happens to you, which I sincerely hope it never does, tell someone, I have made myself physically sick keeping this to myself.

Stay strong guys, and stay safe.

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After a day of this utterly confusing app, I bid you goodnight! #bedtime #Newbie #gettingthehangofhashtags